An A-Z of Pregnancy Part I

Ante-natal Classes – Hubby and I are signed up for ante-natal classes in March and I'm half dreading it. My only point of reference is the movies, so I expect to be taught how to breathe Lamaze style “hee heee hoooooooooo” and feel like a total idiot. Plus the inevitable birth videos which can also be called “horror porn”. So much to look forward to.

Breasts – I've always been rather generously endowed in the breast department, and since falling pregnant my cup definitely doth spilleth over, and I'm only just over half way – what will these suckers look like when I'm actually breastfeeding? Meanwhile Hubby is more than pleased with developments and I can't fit in to any of my button up shirts.

Cravings – Get pregnant and you'll crave icecream and pickles is what I was told. So far though I haven't really had what you could call cravings. There has been no insatiable urges that could only be quashed by sending Hubby on a midnight run. My tastes have definitely changed though, a toasted cheese and tomato sandwich really hits the spot, and where I previously didn't like McDonald's I could now eat a cheeseburger (or two, or three) a day!

Daddy – Hubby's role hasn't really changed yet, and according to the old saying “a women becomes a mother when she is pregnant, a man becomes a father when he holds his child” it won't for quite a while yet. But I do love it when he leans his ear to my round belly and listens to hear the movement, then talks to him... its normally something along the lines of “So hows things in amniotic world?” and its a rather one sided conversation.

Expanding – Is the medical world entirely sure that babies grow in bellys? Because my bum is getting enormous. Even when taking in to consideration the cheeseburgers it seems bigger than it should be. The average weight gain up to this point in a pregnancy is just over 6kg and I've so far put on 2kg... and its all in my bum.

Feet – Those suckers are getting harder and harder to reach as my increasing girth prevents me from bending down completely. I can still see them... for now.

Grandparents – Tricky is the first grandchild on both sides for our families and the reaction to his impending arrival has been very different. Hubby's parents were first to know and were enthusiastic but trying not to get too thrilled as it was still early days. Nowadays Mother-In-Law is getting very excited and was the first to purchase anything for Tricky, a beautiful blanket, while Father-In-Law is understandably blasé about something he can't see yet. My parents found out when I was twelve weeks because they were away overseas. My dad was almost bouncing off the walls at the announcement and my mother looked horrified – she was to be a Grandmother! Thats for old people!

Hormones – There are a lot of these suckers surging through my body at the moment, and they all seem to have really interesting names; you've got your standard progesterone and oestrogen but then there is Lutenising hormone, Oxytocin, beta Human Chorionic Gondatropin hormone. Some of these increase by up to 1000% while you're pregnant which makes for a great excuse for when ever you're in a bad mood/forget to do something/accidentally kill your husband!

Ignorant – I've never really been around infants before. I've held some of them, sure. But not for more than a few minutes after which I heaved a sigh of relief at being able to hand them back to their mum or dad. So I'm wondering if I'll be actually able to care for Tricky 24/7? I have no one to off load him to when I get tired/grumpy/bored. I'm not completely ignorant though, I'm pretty good with toddlers because I like playing and colouring in is one of my all time favourite past-times.