An A-Z of Pregnancy Part II

Kicks – Tricky is an active little bub, but I really have no idea if what I feel are kicks, punches, general position changes or what. So I prefer to think of him as playing skippy with the umbilical cord, doing a work out routine (possibly using my kidneys as free weights to shed that baby fat) or playing air guitar.

Linea Nigra – This is the name of the dark line that women can get during pregnancy, that runs from the belly button down to the pubic bone. Mine is starting to get darker now and looks like someone has taken a brown texta and drawn on me, perfectly cutting my abdomen in half. It serves no purpose other than a nice reminder that our bodies will never be the same again.

Mothers' Day – This year Mothers' Day falls on May 9^th, a few weeks before I'm due. Do you think I'll get a present from Hubby? Hrmmm?

Nutrition – If I ate the amount of food recommended by the guides and nutritionists I'd be looking like Augustus Gloop from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Six serves of this, five servings of that every day. I've always had a healthy appetite but this is ridiculous! I don't know anyone who can ingest that much food without having to go to hospital for emergency stomach pumping. I might be eating for two but Tricky only weighs 500grams right now, its not like he's wanting a rump steak all to himself.

Obstetrician – My Obstetrician is a lovely old Chinese gentleman. And that is not a term I throw around willy nilly, he is truly a gentle soul. During visits while he is waiting for the ultrasound machine to come out of sleep mode, or for the blood pressure monitor to beep its result, he hums. Hubby has no idea what they are but thanks to twelve years of Catholic education I can recognise them as hymns. I'm not a religious person but knowing that he believes in a God as opposed to thinking that he is one, is reassuring.

Public Transport – I get to work via bus and train every morning and get a seat pretty much every time. Coming home is a different matter... only very occasionally will I get a seat after standing up all day at work. I lamented to a heavily pregnant friend that I couldn't wait to be a bit bigger so that people would actually see that I was preggers and offer me a seat, but she said that everyone just looks down and pretends they haven't seen you – and its TRUE! Passengers will pull their books up to their noses or get out their mobile phones and ignore not only me but the frail elderly woman who is eyeing me off, figuring out if she can get to the seat quicker than me or not, and if its safe to whack a pregnant woman in the shins with her cane. So far only one person has offered me their seat and she was on crutches! I couldn't take her seat off her though, but together we gave 'evil eyes' to the teenagers on the next bench.

Queasy – I still feel sick every now and again, mainly when I can smell food cooking. I've always had an “iron stomach” when it comes to seeing icky things but that seems to have gone along with my girlish figure. Walking from the train station the other day it was obvious someone had a rather big weekend by the trail of vomit they'd left behind – I had to hold my breath and run with my hand over my mouth to stop myself being sick!

Research – Like most first time mothers'-to-be I've been looking up websites, trawling the local library and getting my hands on every journal article I can find about pregnancy and birth. I'd say its because I'm trying to be a responsible parent and whilst that is partly true, its mainly because I know nothing and am freaking out a bit. There are so many options and even more opinions. I was reading one book about birthing the natural way and the author made so many valid points... until she wrote about how her moments old daughter remembered the umbilical cord being cut and how traumatic it was. My bullshit detector was making big woop woop woop noises at that one!

Stretch Marks – I have little white stretch marks already on my body from being a curvy gal, so I'm assuming that its like a stretch mark party and more are invited. But these suckers will be the big, fat, angry, red and purple ones. More stuff to look forward to... great. Can I buy shares in Bio Oil?