Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Show a little bit Moore

I've always admired the shape of a pregnant belly. They're beautiful and quite literally bursting with life. Combine that with the supposed glow (which is still managing to elude me) and it makes for some very attractive women.

But now the shoe is on the other foot, or more appropriately the tum is on a different mum, and I'm not feeling particularly stunning... just plain old me. So when I was offered a free pregnancy photoshoot by a photographer friend, I was flattered but not thrilled with the idea. At this point I should mention that while some of the photos would be stock standard, others would be... *takes a deep breath*... NUDE!

I'll give you a minute while you get up off the floor... back on your chair now? Now where were we? Right, rudey nudey.

Plenty of women do nude maternity shoots. Demi Moore's photo on the cover of Vanity Fair magazine started it all off and the likes of Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears followed, as did a lot of “normal” women. Whilst considering the idea I was haunted by visions of English comedian Johnny Vegas when he parodied the famous Moore shoot. Let me tell you, that image is now burned in to my retinas forever, so it's only fair for me to share the joy.

The infamous Demi Moore photo on the cover of Vanity Fair


Slightly less infamous photo of Johnny Vegas

So far I've kept this blog pretty anonymous, and I don't think there is any risk in being “found out” by revealing that I don't actually look like Moore, Aguilera or Spears. I'm sure you guessed that anyway. And the people who do know me can vouch for this (although you all don't have to rush to comment saying what a minger I am, thanks). But there is one little thing that is keeping the idea in my head... photoshop. With liquify and blur my thighs and breasts will suddenly become taught and perky plus my tiny little crows feet with vanish! I will have smooth, flawless skin and I might even be made to GLOW!

Yet the notion that a strategically placed hand or the way a shadow falls could be all that distances me from “preggo porn” looms at the forefront of my brain. To be nude or not to be nude, THAT is the question, thanks, Hamlet.

3 comments:

  1. Knew you'd be doing one of these :-)
    Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You're a minger!!!

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  3.  For some reason I always associate this Demi Moore photo with the movie poster of Arnold S' movie JUNIOR, in which he gets pregnant. But now that I saw Johnny Vegas' image (whom I admire as a comedian), without a doubt he will remain in my conscious as image n1 associated with demi Moore's maternity photo.

    ReplyDelete

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