Lardy McLard Ass

My BMI is so very very close to obese.

It scares the crap outta me.

I know I'm fat but I don't tend to step on the scales, so I didn't know my actual weight - even when I found out my weight I didn't think it would be enough to put me in to the obese category... but it did. No, I'm not gonna put it here, I can't bring myself to do it, but you can pretty much guess it I'm sure. 

If I’m to lose weight before December as part of my Thirty before 30 list, then I need to get a move on. Quite literally. So, I went walking. What did you see? I saw a yellow dog looking at me.

I can’t do as much exercise as some other people. I don’t really talk about it much, but I have a chronic pain condition that means if I go all out and “work through the pain” Biggest Loser style, I will end up in bed, unable to move for the rest of the week even with the help of some very hard core drugs. I’ve even got one of those disability stickers on my car that lets me park in the ACROD bays – it comes in really handy on the days when I can barely move, but, because I don’t limp or “look disabled” I tend to get abused by people who assume I have stolen my grandmother’s permit, so I don’t use it unless I’m desperate and ready to fight off people who block my car in (yes, that really happened).

Chronic pain affects my social life too; if I go out dancing or to a pub and have to stand the whole night, I do it knowing that the next two to three days are a write off… but I still go cos I’m stupid and quite partial to wine young (ish) and want to have fun.

When I do exercise, it has to be very gentle; walking is pretty much all I can do and there can’t be any incline. I even considered joining one of those granny walking clubs once only to find out they walk much faster than I can.

So yesterday I walked and five minutes in to it I knew it was a mistake. Not because I was in pain but because I made the stupid mistake of wearing a g-string, the only clean pair of undies in the house. Every now and again I’d glance around to make sure there was no one behind me and yank those suckers out. I am nothing if not classy.

For today's walk I will be much more prepared and actually wear proper underwear. A bit of walking, no less crappy food, and I'll be on my way to looking and feeling fab I'm sure.

Is your body screwed up like mine? If so, how do you keep fit?

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Glowless rocked the Aussie Bloggers Conference thanks to

HealthyChart and Baby Goes Retro and Simply Colors