A thief, a dobber, a trouble maker and a whinger

On Thursday night I ditched parenting duties to go to a fancy pants wine and whiskey tasting "Twitterati Party". Say that three times fast. Go on, I'll wait... it's cool, right?

The party was hosted by Jason Jordan at the Inglewood Hotel to celebrate/commiserate the end of financial year. As someone with zero taxable income, EOFY means bugger all to me, but hey, if you're going to put on the wine and whiskey, I'll come to your party.

I got tickets to the event after getting a text message from Georgia of Parental Parody fame a few weeks ago which said "FREE WINE TASTING THING ON TWITTER... DO IT NOOOOOW!" or words to that affect. So it was only right that I picked her up on the way there. And by I, I of course mean Map Guy.

There was some slight stalling whilst getting my boobs out in the carpark to feed a rather vocal and cranky pants Tricky (what, like you've never gotten your boobs out in the poorly lit, slightly dingy back carpark of a pub), then it was time to make our entrance. We headed in and tried to find where the gig was; Georgia noticed people with their heads buried in their phones... I noticed the wine table.

We gravitated towards it and started sampling the massive range of four bottles. The guy doing the pouring was trying to tell me all about "this one which is a little bit older and little more full bodied" to which I replied "Well so am I, so I'll have that one". He gave me half a sip. Surely my predictable quip deserved at least half a glass?

It didn't taste like battery acid so of course, I wanted some more. He was busy serving and chatting to other people so I just helped myself.

Luckily the guy didn't see me do it because a few other guests told me (whilst I was half way through the drink) that apparently, only the taste was free, you had to pay for the drinks.

I went back and checked and there it was, written in chicken scratch on a scrap of paper "glass $8". Stingey bastards! I don't go to a free wine party to pay for my drinks, it's part of the zero income thing I've got going on.


So I guess I am a thief.

I planned to stand behind Georgia and Adam from TweetPerth if anyone said anything. Safety in numbers and all that jazz.

Screw it. On to the cocktails.

Then I met Jason, and being the fantastic, grateful and slightly drunk person that I am, I complained about mentioned my surprise at the lack of free drinks and offered myself up as the criminal tweep who stole a glass.


Now I'm a dobber, of both myself and the establishment.

He said he had no idea it wasn't free, and from the look of shock on his face, I'm inclined to believe him. When handing out the door prizes he announced to the room (jokingly) that I was a trouble maker... at least he didn't say what everyone else was thinking; that I was a lush who was just after free drinks (they were right, by the way).


Now I'm a thief, a dobber and a trouble maker, are you keeping up?

Anyway, there were some fab photos taken by this guy Karl, who I was eyeing off for a while doing that whole 'Do I know him? I think I know him? It's definitely him' dance in my head. Karl and I used to be friends, we got drunk once and got kicked out of a club together about eight years ago on Christmas Eve. Good times.

He took some nice photos, and I'm unsurprisingly holding a wine glass or cocktail glass in all of them.

Cocktail glass, hidden cocktail glass but peace sign, wine glass

'Twas a fun night of catching up with my Twitter pals and I was home by 10pm thanks to #1 Hubby giving me a lift home while I ranted in the back seat wondering just how much I could drunkenly say in front of a very worldly five year old.

Oh, and just quietly, there was no damn whiskey. Now I'm a thief, a dobber, a trouble maker and a whinger.

Do you celebrate/commiserate EOFY? Or not give a toss?