Handing over to this guy for today's post:
In the blue corner we have Jennifer McManus. She's 160cm tall, weighs 75kg (but she'll tell you she weighs 69kg), can bench press a toddler, and cook a gourmet meal of beans on toast for a family of four while holding her screaming two month old baby. Jennifer holds the title for most bargains found in one day and this is her third year contesting the Toy Sale Smackdown.
Jennifer plans to use the time honoured tactic of dropping the toddler at the grandparents' and babywearing during the sales so she can keep her hands free to grab bargains. It comes with the added bonus of most other Smackdown participants giving her a "baby buffer zone".
In the red corner we have Monica Bradman. At 165cm tall and weighing in at 82kg (but she'll swear 10kg of that is fluid at this time of the month), she has the upper hand being able to bench press twin toddlers and break up fights between her tweens. Monica is the reigning Trolley Wielding World Champion and is our most experienced competitor today, in her 11th year of Toy Sale Smackdown.
Monica's plan of attack is to use one of her tweens so they can infiltrate the aisles from two sides and she will rely heavily on her superior trolley skills to block other bargain hunters and if need be, ram their heels.
And then in the multicoloured couch corner with a few scatter cushions is Glowless. She's 169cm tall and weighs 70kg (though we all know that's a big fat lie). She's a newbie in the Smackdown but has used the power of her laptop to come in and is a real threat to claim the title.
Her plan is to jump online (the only jumping she does) and head to the Target Toy Sale where she can browse through the hundreds of discounted toys, cup of tea in hand, and leisurely pick and choose and start her Early Bird Lay-By online! No fighting children, no trolleys up heels, no scuffle for the last Lightning McQueen and no having to bribe tweens with promises of junk food. She even plans to do it with her trademark unbrushed hair and in her normal uniform of PJs.
Remember ladies, there's no such thing as a nice, clean fight!
DING DING!
Who will win??? What are your weapons of choice for the Toy Sale Smackdown?
This post is part of Product Talk by Nuffnang. I received a Target voucher for it to use at the sale!
