Wednesday, September 21, 2011

He Did What!? Wednesday - By Parental Parody

Tight-Ass Tampons - By Parental Parody

I love my husband dearly.

Just let me get that out there before I launch into my He Did What?! rant story.

#1 Hubby phoned to say he was on his way home from work, and did I need anything?

Translation : Really not ready to pass the point of no return threshold and have you launch the kids on me just yet, so I’m hoping to kill some time by appearing helpful in offering to go to the shops, while giving myself a legitimate excuse to wander around, have a coffee, and make some unnecessary purchases, before I head home.

Totally wise to his game, I thought I’d test him.

Me : Yes Dear. Can you please get me some tampons.

Silence on the other end of the phone.

#1 Hubby : Erm…ahhh….okay, yep sure.

Me : Are you sure?

#1 Hubby : Yeah, yeah, okay, okay. Sure thing.

Me : Great, do you want to know which ones to get?

#1 Hubby : No, no. I know.

About an hour later, #1 Hubby arrived home looking calm.

I admit, I was a little disappointed by this. I was expecting to see him all red in the face, sweaty brow, completely frazzled after being confronted by multiple brand and size options in the tampon aisle of the supermarket.

He starts unpacking the shopping - the other “essentials” that he couldn’t pass up because they were on special.

There’s chips, chocolate, soap and toothpaste. Clearly he’s gone down 2 aisles only – junk food and toiletries.

Then he pulls out the tampons.

Are you ready for it ladies?

HOME BRAND

HOME freaking BRAND!

Now I’m not a brand snob. I’m quite partial to a Home Brand discount. In fact, I don’t recall the last time I bought staples like flour or sugar in anything other than Home Brand.

But lady products? Something that is going to go in there? Hell no!

He has spent more on a 2pack of soap, than he has on my tampons!

I am so freaking disgusted that I can’t even deal with him. Seriously. How does one explain – to a man – that, of all the areas to skimp on price, to buy the cheapest product you can find – feminine hygiene, something that goes inside your bloody body like TAMPONS – is a complete no-no.

So, instead of starting World War 3 while bitch slapping some sense into him trying to educate him to the enormity of his error…I’ve immediately sat down, fumed over my keyboard, and put it into a He Did What?! post for the awesome Glowless. Because she has more followers than me, and therefore ensures maximum “name and shame” exposure for #1 Hubby’s serious faux pas.
___ . . . ___ . . . ___

Aren't we cute?!
Georgia from Parental Parody is the bomb. Seriously. When she comes anywhere near you, you'll get a warm fuzzy feeling in the cockles.

She speaks fluent sarcasm and can often be found drinking wine out of a goon bag in order to maintain some form of sanity after wrangling a five year old tween and two year old twin tornadoes.

Most importantly though, she laughs at my jokes and convinces #1 Hubby to give me a lift home after we've been out partying together.

Stalk her on Facebook... you know you want to.

 Send your S/He Did What!? submissions to glowless@wheresmyglow.com

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