Thursday, September 22, 2011

Meow! Gettin' Catty

Are you ready? Because the claws are coming out.

Earlier in the week, my soul sista Georgia from Parental Parody came over. Looking like this:

The Eagle Has Landed

Why am I putting up a photo where she's *ahem* looking so attractive? Well, because I'm a vengeful soul and must pay her back for the filth she introduced to my house. But also because I have a sign on my door saying anyone crossing the threshold agrees to being blogged about - it's next to my FOAD sign).

She'd been to Vietnam recently and whilst over there had texted me to brag tell me she was drinking cocktails out of buckets, flying the bogan Aussie flag with pride and had gotten me a little gift. She thinks of me on holiday - stalker much?

I love giftage. It makes up for not going and missing out on drinking cocktails bigger than my head.

I've written before about the perfect gift and I need to amend that post slightly. The Venn Diagram becomes null and void when gifts are intentionally bought to amuse and/or annoy the recipient.

Behold, the gift of doom:

Six Fucking Cats
Knowing just how much I hate cats I am more of a dog person, she thought it appropriate to smother me in all sorts of sneeze-inducing cat paraphernalia. Oh yes. She did. Bitch.

A cat backback, a cat purse, a cat pen, Audrey Catburn tissues (WTF?) and Hello Fucking Kitty shower cap and visor. It is so bad it is quite possibly the best present I've ever received.

Of course I had to model my hat and left it on for the remainder of our macaroon eating morning. If I have to go through the pain of wearing it then you can be sure I'm putting her through the pain of having to look at me. Don't I look so happy to get it?

Can anyone say ungrateful?
Tricky always steals my limelight
But not wanting to experience my cat-induced wrath, she threw in a couple of real pressies too in order to calm me enough so I didn't gouge out her eyes with a teaspoon. Funny AND smart, that chick has all bases covered.


Dark chocolate mint Tim Tams and calming tea. Nomalicious. Nawwww, isn't she so thoughtful?! I loves her so.

But... err... what do I do with it now?

What's the best worst present you've ever gotten?
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37 comments:

  1. MrsTullySeptember 22, 2011 at 10:58 AM

    Why you be a kitty-hater? Tricky rocks the pink-kitty hat well, maybe kitty will be the new trend this summer :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sarah MacSeptember 22, 2011 at 10:58 AM

    Hmmm, an ex boyfriend once bought me a flower press!!!  Possibly it has something to do with WHY he's an ex .......

    ReplyDelete
  3. Life Love and HiccupsSeptember 22, 2011 at 11:01 AM

    My Hubby gave me a Hedge Trimmer for my birthday. No No NO, not for down 'there', for the garden. WTF??

    I returned the favour with a slow cooker for his birthday.

    So what did I get for last Christmas in this ongoing game of gift revenge?? A meat slicer!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. MelissaSeptember 22, 2011 at 11:21 AM

    hehehe - great gift :) Maybe you could do a giveaway... to the person who has a worse gift than that? ;) lol

    ReplyDelete
  5. GlowlessSeptember 22, 2011 at 12:27 PM

    I'm so highly allergic to cats that it has tainted my view of them... well that and, you know, they're cats.

    ReplyDelete
  6. GlowlessSeptember 22, 2011 at 12:28 PM

    Gift revenge!!! I look forward to this. @parental_parody better watch out, I'm going away soon and will bring her back useless crap!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Kellie HeitmanSeptember 22, 2011 at 12:28 PM

    LOL was just going to say that!

    And wtf dark chocolate mint Tim Tams? I die.

    ReplyDelete
  8. GlowlessSeptember 22, 2011 at 12:28 PM

    Oooooh I like that idea :P

    ReplyDelete
  9. GlowlessSeptember 22, 2011 at 12:29 PM

    Errr... interesting. Fine if you have an interest in pressing flowers I suppose.

    ReplyDelete
  10. GlowlessSeptember 22, 2011 at 12:30 PM

    They taste really similar to mint slices :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Fussy Eater's MumSeptember 22, 2011 at 12:32 PM

    People are always giving me chocolate and I don't eat chocolate, which tells me that they just want me to open it right then and there are serve it to them.

    I regret to say the Mr Fussy doesn't give me enough gifts for there to be one that is the worst, but he did give me a pair of trackie pants once when we first started dating. Obviously I blocked that out...

    ReplyDelete
  12. MaritaSeptember 22, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    My girls would love the Hello Kitty hat and it would match our Hello Kitty fry pan and Hello Kitty tea pot which is kind of awesome... I mean who doesn't want to accessorise to match their kitchen utensils.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Parental ParodySeptember 22, 2011 at 12:54 PM

    Dear God no. PLEASE NOT ALCOHOL!  I am deathly allergic to vodka (surely that is why I am so ill the following morning, right?).  Whatever you do, no alcohol.  Or shiny jewellery.  Or cash.  All things I simply cannot stand.

    Reverse Psychology probably only works when you're after something attainable, right?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Parental ParodySeptember 22, 2011 at 1:43 PM

    Awesome idea.

    I'm going to email that cat lover from you tube. You'll be inundated with entries just from her.  All in video format.  With the same level of emotion that she showed on you tube.

    You're welcome.

    ReplyDelete
  15. veggiemamaSeptember 22, 2011 at 4:33 PM

    A water pistol!

    ReplyDelete
  16. FrogpondsrockSeptember 22, 2011 at 4:37 PM

    When you said hello kitty visor,I read it as vibrator and It reminded me of this post from 2008 by Kelley http://magnetoboldtoo.com/2011/08/28/hello-kitty-well-hello-kitty-revisited/  enjoy

    ReplyDelete
  17. Miss PinkSeptember 22, 2011 at 6:13 PM

    REGIFT!!

    Worst present? My SIL once got me a stack of clothes, all 8 sizes LARGER than I am, which is quite a lot. I have a sneaking suspicion that SHE was regifting to me, but at 20 years old it does sting a little. I actually regifted those tents back to her. Take that bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  18. tattoomummySeptember 22, 2011 at 6:49 PM

    ALL presents from tattoodaddy's Nan are terrible. They are all from the $2 shop or from thespecials section of the avon catalogue.
    The worse part of it is she always says "if you won't use it, give it back and I'll get you something you will use" But you never give it back, do you!

    ReplyDelete
  19. GlowlessSeptember 22, 2011 at 8:21 PM

    Wow trackie dacks?! That's a brave gift choice :P

    ReplyDelete
  20. GlowlessSeptember 22, 2011 at 8:22 PM

    Accessorising to match kitchen equipment is so hot right. I think Nikki from Styling You might even be doing a feature on it???

    ReplyDelete
  21. GlowlessSeptember 22, 2011 at 8:22 PM

    That's an awesome present :P

    ReplyDelete
  22. GlowlessSeptember 22, 2011 at 8:23 PM

    Ahhh love that post. It completely freaks me out though.

    ReplyDelete
  23. GlowlessSeptember 22, 2011 at 8:23 PM

    My mother always buys me size 18 when I'm a 12-14. Always. Maybe I should regift back to her like you did?

    ReplyDelete
  24. GlowlessSeptember 22, 2011 at 8:31 PM

    Bahaha love those. My grandmother used to buy presents YEARS in advance and store them in mothballs so when they were given they stunk.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Oh Gorgeous BabySeptember 23, 2011 at 5:47 AM

    I know 1 little girl who would think that hello kitty stuff rocks! Maybe your friend got you mixed up with a 5year old?

    ReplyDelete
  26. VoluptaconSeptember 23, 2011 at 7:15 AM

    My Step dad's mother gave me the past year's diary for Christmas one year. Whoot! I got to use it for a whole week!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Laney @ Crash Test MummySeptember 23, 2011 at 7:25 AM

    I was relieved to discover this wasn't a post about the footy as I would have nothing to say. I may live in Melbourne but I grew up in NZ, so no clue!
    My hubby hates cats, he would have been stoked about the Tim Tams too. Hope you ate them all up!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Desert RamblerSeptember 23, 2011 at 8:53 AM

    My MIL is notorious for getting gifts not quite right - awful earrings, weird knitted cardigan-things, cheap and nasty socks that make your feet ripe...
    By the way, my kitty is curled up next to me and if he could read he'd probably reach through the screen and scratch your eyes out for you (and then turn his claws on me before scooting out the door, so I kind of get where you're coming from regarding cats).

    ReplyDelete
  29. sarahbraaksmaSeptember 23, 2011 at 9:15 AM

    heeheehee too funny.. my MIL gave me a brightly knitted clown jumper once.. thats she had not only not knitted, but picked up at a local opshop.. yeah how do you say thank you for that??

    ReplyDelete
  30. Rhonda AdamsonSeptember 24, 2011 at 4:31 AM

    i love it.  especially audrey catburn.  hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  31. bigwordsSeptember 25, 2011 at 8:05 AM

    I can not tell you what I would do for a tim tam at the moment. Damn diet!! Hope all is well gorgeous xx

    ReplyDelete
  32. GlowlessSeptember 25, 2011 at 10:05 PM

    Bahahaha now that's a pretty shit gift!

    ReplyDelete
  33. GlowlessSeptember 25, 2011 at 10:06 PM

    The Tim Tams survived for a day before they were inhaled.

    ReplyDelete
  34. GlowlessSeptember 25, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    I have a thing for attracting psycho cats. My neighbours used to hide under my car and when you went to open the door it would lunge out at me and scratch up my legs.

    ReplyDelete
  35. GlowlessSeptember 25, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    Hrmmmm... I don't think I'd be able to hide my shock with that one.

    ReplyDelete
  36. GlowlessSeptember 25, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    Is that not the weirdest thing ever? Who thinks "hey we should replace Audrey Hepburn's face with a cat's, that would be awesome"???

    ReplyDelete
  37. GlowlessSeptember 25, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    They were terrible.... do you believe me? No? Oh well, I tried.

    ReplyDelete

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