Sunday, October 23, 2011

5 Reasons Shark Culls Are Bullshit


I promised my next Cranky Pants post would be Why I Don't Comment On Your Blog (after comments galore on Why I Don't Read Your Blog) but I've shoved it back in my drafts folder for a week because can't let this one go. So, with new Cranky Pants button, I give you my latest rant.

There has been an "unprecedented increase" in fatal shark attacks off the WA coast lately. Three in two months. With it has come an outcry for these "man hunters" to be killed because they pose a threat to human life, and today the Western Australian government, in all their infinite wisdom, has decided that yes, these sharks should be killed.

I have a few problems with this.
  1. They are not "man hunters" they are hunters and people sometimes get in the way. Now I'm no marine biologist but I will hazard a guess that Mr Shark doesn't go along and think "hrmmm I feel like killing a human today" rather he swims along and sees a bit of a slow swimming seal-like creature and thinks it's  lunch time
  2. If you go to someone else's home, you obey their rules. With humans it's more likely to cover things like not swearing in front of kids, taking your shoes off at the door or always bringing wine. The ocean is a shark's home, the same rules apply - you do as they wish which sometimes, sadly, includes being eaten
  3. When entering the ocean you know the risks. Jelly fish, stone fish, blue ring octopi and sharks all pose a hazard... if you want to swim without the possibility of becoming an hors d'oeuvres then go to the local pool where you can dodge screaming children who really should be wearing swim nappies - they are just as scary as sharks but their bites are generally not fatal
  4. How can you be sure the shark you're tracking down as a "man hunter" is the right one? Do you interview it? Do you have to read a shark it's rights before the interview? What if they lawyer up, what then? No, it's kill, check stomach, oops we got the wrong one... or maybe it's the right one but it's already digested it's meal so really there is no way of telling since, you know, grey with fins and lots of fucking teeth kinda describes them all
  5. So lets assume for a second they do kill the shark that killed a human... do you think it's a deterrent to the other sharks? Do you think they sit there and go "Shit man, Billy killed that bloke and they shot him. I've told my kids to stick to krill because I don't even wanna chance that happening to them. You can never be too careful". No!! So what is the point?!



So you can probably tell I don't think the sharks should be killed. I'm also pretty damn sure I would think the exact same way were it one of my friends or family members who were tragically taken in what I can only imagine as one of the most terrifying and painful ways to die. It's still not the shark's fault, there is no malice, just a drive to survive.

And so we're clear, if a shark came in to my house, I would reserve the right to eat it, especially if he brought some chips with him and a couple of dim sims.

What do you think of the Western Australian government decision to kill the sharks?


Sunday Grumble at Madam Bipolar

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