Friday, October 28, 2011

I Don't Heart My Body... So I Posed Naked On The Internet

Last year when the I {heart} My Body campaign was run by We {Heart} Life I put up a pregnant belly shot. I had a new found sense of love and respect for my body after it had grown Tricky, managed to birth him and was continuing to nourish him.

When considering linking up this year I starting freaking out. I felt ashamed of my body and wanted to run away and hide. Lots of old feelings came flooding back from when I was a lot heavier, followed by memories of when I was a lot lighter. The anxiety was suffocating. It's hard to love your body when it doesn't work, when it always hurts and lets you down.

I wonder what it would take for so many years of body issues and eating problems to be left behind? Weight loss? More therapy? A health scare perhaps? I need something to shock me in to taking it seriously, to stop cramming junk in to my mouth in an effort to squash down the anxiety and the only thing I can think of that I can do right at this moment is to pose naked on the internet.

So I did. 

With a strategically placed breastfeeding toddler.

Naked... on the internet... forever

I love my breasts. They are still nourishing and comforting Tricky as we near the 18 month mark. They are a lot closer to the ground and even more pendulous than ever as a 14 F (F for Faaaaar Out They're Huuuuge!). They most definitely fail the pencil test... hell, they'd fail the pencil case test... but they are amazing.
My little Koala holding on

I love my lips. They are big, pouty and good for kissing. Some people think they've been enhanced but it's actually scar tissue from splitting my lip open as six year old. Sometimes falling on your face can be good for you, you know?
Killer curves

I love my hair. I'm not sure if that counts as body but I'm going to go with it. It does what I want it to do most of the time and tends to look nice no matter what colour it is. It's incredibly thick to the point where hairdressers charge me extra because they have to use so much more product and blowdrying it takes forever.

So there it is. There I am. In all my naked Glowy glory. I'm half shit scared and half empowered... oh man what have I done?

Would you pose naked on the internet?
Photobucket 

EDIT: There has been such wonderful feedback from this post and only one negative commenter via Facebook. So I feel the need to add that I didn't do this so men (or women) would leave me comments saying I'm hot... in fact the possibility that some immature person would happen upon this from a search and leave a snarky comment filled me with trepidation (it's happened on my youtube page before so I know it could happen here) and I considered turning comments off . I did this to embrace my body for what it is and to come to the realization that MY BODY IS AMAZING. Look at all it has done and continues to do. It may be broken, but the whole is greater than the sum of it's parts. I AM BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Embrace it. Learn to love it, learn to heart it... just like I am.

EDIT2.0: Thank you to all the people who have supported me on the Mum's Lounge Facebook page where the original negative comments were posted. In particular Jolene from Mum's Lounge who promoted the post in the first place and was very quick to defend both the I Heart My Body movement and my participation in it. I am, as always, amazed at the support this online community shows its members.

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