Moustaches: Not just for porn stars

Last night I went to the grand opening of moustache season aka the Movember Launch Party at The Ellington Jazz Club (read: dimly lit ultra funky bar with a John Butler wannabe on sax) after a ticket was thrown my way by the fabulous Lynda at Nuffnang.

In a time honoured tradition I rocked up at Georgia's house to find her waiting out the front avoiding her children. We go to these events together to avoid that I-don't-know-anyone-here-loserdom that we both exude like the smell of cheap perfume. Usually it's Map Guy dropping us off but he stayed home to feed Tricky so my Dad had the honour. It was just like being back in highschool except that back then I wasn't cool enough to be invited to any of the fancy pants parties. LOOK AT ME NOW, BITCHES! *ahem*

As if it was choreographed, the fag to my hag Kim from The Armory rocked up at the very moment we pulled in and the threesome of awesome was ready to go. We had successfully avoided all awkwardness to this point but I was soon to lose any semblance of street cred when I tried to go in only to find the front door locked... now that is in itself not a major fail until you consider that everyone on the inside could see through and watched me do it. I wasn't clever enough to realize that the entrance is around the back (not a euphemism, Shae).

During the evening I learned some very important things:

1. Money raised from Movember supports prostate cancer and depression initiatives
2. You should "respect ducks, respect your mo' and respect your fellow countrymen" (don't ask me)
3. You should leave a gate as you found it (it's a country thing, ask Map Guy)
4. Georgia really likes my hair and tells me so at inappropriate times
5. Without a sign around my neck saying Blogger I just look rude when I'm tweeting mid-speech
6. There would be swag bags with Call of Duty soldier shaped USB drives and other goodies
   
   

   

   The swag of Mo'

7. The Adonis of a waiter is named Trevor, he's from LA and has been in Australia two weeks
8. Heckling the saxophone player by shouting "You'll never be Butler!!! Surrender the fantasy!!!" is frowned upon

After speeches and a few more drinks I had a bit of a chin wag with some very interesting people *cue name-drop* including Keith Mortimer, the business and finance manager at Beyond Blue, Tim Marney, the Under Treasurer of WA and the deputy chairman of Beyond Blue, legend cricketer Dennis Lillee (who both Georgia and Kim accosted), a super cute on-again-off-again couple Tim & Emily, and a guy called Doug who wouldn't let me use his surname or company after he told me some fantastically lurid stories of having to pre-warn the girls you're going on dates with that it's Movember and you're not actually a porn star.

Kim didn't get the no porn star memo

Dodgy photo with Dennis Lillee thanks to Georgia's camera

"To MapGuy. Trae rules the world. Dennis Lillee" Best. Autograph. Ever!

Basically I spent the whole time making myself out to be way more important than I actually am, being a bit of a wanker while using phrases like "I'm here in a social media context", drinking too much and posing for photos for the Sunday Times. Brilliant night.

To participate in Movember head over to the website and check it out. Be a Mo' Bro or a Mo' Sister... I dare you.

Go the Mo'

Stick on Mo' FTW!