Welcome to the first in an ongoing series of How Not To Ruin Your Marriage posts, complete with button. Yay for buttons!
Being married for all of four years of course makes me an expert in such matters, just as being a mother for a millisecond means I can give advice for all sorts of parenting dilemmas, and a ten day trip to Thailand means I'm qualified to preach Buddhism.
In today's lesson we're going to learn how not to speak to your wife when it comes to weight and shape, with an example from the delicious yet at times dickheaded, Map Guy, plucked straight out of our Easter weekend.
Read. Cringe. Enjoy. Laugh. But most of all, share this with your husbands and partners so that they may learn.
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Me: I'm always going to have a bit of a pot belly, I've had a baby, half of it's stretched skin
Map Guy: Yeah, just look at Miranda Kerr and Heidi Klum's pot bellies... oh wait.
Me: *DEATH STARE*
Map Guy: What I meant was...
Me: *DEATH STARE*
Map Guy: They're obviously genetic freaks...
Me: Lemme get you a shovel so you can dig that hole a little deeper
Map Guy: Um.... I love you?
Me: Fuck off and die
What would you have done? Grounds for justifiable homicide?
If you'd like your idiocy to be included in a How Not To Ruin Your Marriage lesson email glowless@wheresmyglow.com. Where's My Glow doesn't discriminate between idiots, so you don't have to actually be married or even straight to submit.
