You know you're getting old when...

I hit the big 3-0 recently. Well sorta recently. OK, OK, it was last year. But it was late last year so it's still possible for me to say recently (shuddup).

By my standards, I'm not old. By a sixteen year old's I'm probably ancient. I have all the signs of ageing maturity on my face now; wrinkles, pigmentation, and a scowl that says "Don't fuck with me, I've worked too hard to get here to deal with your shit".

So how do you know you're getting old? Well...

1. You stop being referred to as 'the girl' and start being called 'the lady' as in "Watch out for the lady" and "Give the money to the lady". I ain't no lady
2. You squeeze your pelvic floor muscles in preparation for a sneeze... you know, just in case
3. You start appreciating the value of money and go from "these shoes are a whole week's rent, aren't they faaaaabulous?!" to "I got this top on sale!"
4. You think a night in with a bottle of wine and some cheese is much more fun than a night out at a pub
5. You find drinking a cup of tea/coffee/hot chocolate, in a really nice cup, a fantastic way to unwind
   
   
6. Your once proportional body disappears and fat starts lingering around your mid section changing your muffin-top to a whole-fucking-bakery-top
7. You pack away your g-strings and replace them with industrial strength iron underwear to suck you in
8. You tune in religiously to Grand Designs and swoon over Kevin McCloud. Mmmmm Kevin
9. You turn on the radio and think "What the hell is this rubbish?" and immediately put on a CD
10. You suddenly find it overwhelming to adjust to new technology and changes, requiring the instruction of a primary school student to figure out how to work the media centre

Can you relate? How do you know you're getting old?