Friends were worried about how I'd cope - would I experience withdrawals? Would I have a break down? And, most importantly, how on earth would I keep my lap warm without my precious, albeit almost dead, laptop?
Here are the top ten things to do during a blackout, that *ahem* may or may not be exactly what I did during the #PerthBlackout.
1. Play find the coffee table with your foot while hunting for candles. Extra points if you find it with your pinkie toe and bend it back far enough that you wonder if it requires medical attention
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| Jumping up and down in agony after stubbing my toe |
2. Use your smart phone to try and find out when the power will come back on. Realize that the entire state is trying to find out at the same time and the site has crashed. Tweet about it, but don't reply to anyone because you're saving your battery.
3. Use the light on your phone to find your proper torch. Curse the day you let your child use said torch as a toy because the batteries are now flat. Hunt around the house for others; check that basket of junk in your laundry, stereos, portable speakers and *ahem* the "special mummy daddy draw".
4. Cook dinner by the light of the gas flame and a couple of candles. Because the rangehood won't work and it's too bloody cold to open any doors, it's likely you'll set the smoke alarm off. Because the house is so eerily silent, the alarm will sound at least 7000 times louder than usual. Tweet a picture.
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| Candle light dinner prep |
5. Turn the light switch on every time you enter a room and feel like a tool. In an effort to cover your stupidity, shout out "I was just testing". Realize that nothing can ever, ever, ever cover how much of an idiot you are.
6. Turn your smart phone in to a wifi hotspot so your partner can check his email and Twitter. Watch your battery life drain before your eyes and shut it down, panicking that you now only have 10% left and no idea of when the power will be back.
7. Play with glow sticks. If you're a male, shove a glow stick bracelet around your tackle and sing "If ya like it then you shoulda put a cock ring on it". Threaten to Tweet a picture and watch him run away, screaming like a girl.
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| Not sure that's very hygienic |
8. Drive a suburb over to an almost equally Twitter-dependent friend's house so that you can both use your car charger. Cruise the streets checking out the fallen down trees and having a bit of a gossip while the phones charge. Stop to get chips to keep your energy levels up.
9. Go to your neighbour's house and ask if they want to play murder in the dark. Hear them scream and run away to call the police because you didn't introduce yourself first. Make a hasty retreat and be thankful that it was so dark they couldn't possibly give an accurate description.
10. Have a freezing cold shower then jump in to bed and warm your icy feet up on your husband's back while simultaneously warming your hands on his front. Hang on tight, he's likely to buck.
What do you do during a blackout? Does it involve inappropriate use of glow sticks?
