Kickin' it old school - toddler style

Tricky has been going to Jump 'n' Jive for half an hour most weeks for the last school term. It's the exact same thing as Laugh 'n' Learn, Romp 'n' Stomp, Wiggle 'n' Giggle and Dance 'n' Prance. In fact, in order to hold a successful toddler dance program it appears that all you need is alliteration, rhyming and a disproportionate number of apostrophes. Oh, and a Hi5 CD.

Every week I go along and every week I feel like the biggest dick in the world as I jump and/or jive along to the music pretending to be a rocket ship, a robot, a clown or whatever the hell it is this week.

As I fall over my own feet and almost crash in to people pretending to be pirates I look around the room and notice that all the other mums and grandmothers not only know all the dance moves, but all the bloody words to the songs, too. I mean it took me six whole weeks to realize the monster had six dirty ears not six thirty ears. I don't even know what six thirty ears means and yet I could swear that is what the song said.

If the class was split by skill level then then I'd be put in a group by myself. Maybe they'd put the nanna who has emphysema and can't shake her groove thing without knocking some kid out cold with her oxygen cylinder with me. You know, to bring down their liability insurance.

Now don't get me wrong, I can sing along to and do all the actions of the Flippy Floppy Scarecrow like nobody's business. Ditto for Miss Munchausens Miss Polly and the rest of the old school songs. But as soon as The Wiggles or Hi5 come on I'm lost and find myself muttering 'kids today' under my breath. I can't even have Hi5 on in the house without thinking that someone spiked the channel 9 water cooler with crack.

So Tricky and I prefer to kick it old school with our nursery rhymes. Plus some of our toys. Yes, I know, I know, it looks like I shoved a toaster on my kid's head but I promise you I didn't. He bloody loves his robot hat, and, just quietly, he does the best robot dance you've ever seen... along to a Hi5 song!

Are you old school with your kids? You know, when you put the iPad down?