Dear Meddlesome Shopper

CC Rafa2010

 It's that time of year yet again,
The shops so full they'll burst.
I'm here lugging 'round a toddler,
This child I've loved and nursed.
But today the spawn is misbehaving,
He's at his all time worst,
He's screaming bloody murder,
Diving to the ground head freakin' first.

Instead of smiling or walking past,
You choose to stop and stare,
To make a bitchy comment,
Then tut at me and glare.
“My child never acted up”
You say with mocking air,
But I don't believe your bullshit tales
Of your perfect little heir.

I'm sorry, lady, you've got it wrong,
You think your shit don't stink?
Yes my kid is acting up,
And I could do with a fucking drink.
Your words aren't helping anyone,
With this narrow way you think,
And now that I'm pulling you up on it,
Your cheeks are turning pink.

Sometimes this is how kids act,
When they're hungry and overtired,
Or maybe there is something more,
And the parents should be admired,
For not throwing in the towel,
And surviving what transpired,
Maybe they need a bit of support,
Or a wine could be required.

So don't judge me or my kid,
From the two minutes that you see,
Instead think for just one second,
“Tomorrow that might be me”.
Yes I'd like him to shut up,
On that we sure agree.
But berating us in public can't stop,
This one-toddler jamboree.

And if you've already had your go,
Maybe you're older and quite jaded?
But I guarantee your kid's done this,
And that your memory had faded.
You've forgotten all the times,
Days when you would have traded,
Your darling little shithead,
Who could not be persuaded,

To just be quiet and sit still,
And not be such a showoff.
While you scowled in their ears,
Promising lollies as a tradeoff.
So go on, go about your day,
And have your little scoff, 

But seriously woman, from all of us,
You can fuck right off!

Have you gotten stares or comments mid-toddler-tantrum? Did you want to fight back or did you wish the ground would swallow you up?