10 steps to the perfect Christmas tree

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It is nearly Christmas. You’ll already know this because people have been posting those “it’s x days til Christmas” memes on Facebook since October and the decorations are filtering in to the stores. Pretty soon you won’t be able to go anywhere without tripping over some tinsel. This means it is time to put up your own Christmas Tree! Here’s my simple ten point guide to putting up the perfect Christmas tree:

1. Pick a pine. Small or large? Standard green or will you go for something funkier like the BIG W black Christmas tree? Be careful, once you go black…

2. Scheme your theme. I’m a rainbow gal myself but I think ombre trees will be all the rage this year.

3. Tune in.Whack on the Christmas Carols - you cannot go wrong with the Bube. Mmmmm mmmmm Santa Bay-by!

4. Tilt up the trunk. Plop it in the middle of the room and go for it. It’s almost all done for 0you before you even take it out of the box so it won’t take long. Have a vacuum handy for stray pine needles.

5. Light it up, baby. Test the lights before you put them on! Then start at the bottom with the transformer/controller and walk around the tree winding the lights all the way up. Since you were so clever and put the tree in the middle of the room this should be super easy. Except for the whole so dizzy you fall over bit. We used the 200 LED starter set from BIG W because they use very little energy (I spend enough at Christmas time as it is, I don’t need a huge power bill too) and because you can add on extra globes later.

6. Tinsel time. As above but with tinsel. Make sure you honour the time honoured tradition of using it as an impromptu feather boa. Take a selfie.

7. Location, location, location. Now you’ve finished with the lights and tinsel, put your pine prince where you actually want it to sit. This way you only have to decorate the visible side, saving valuable egg-nog drinking time. Plus you get to hide the ugly decorations from Aunt Gertrude around the back without feeling guilty because hey, you did actually put them on the tree.

8. Beads and baubles and bling, oh my! Make it fancy. If you’ve got small children helping you let them know that putting all the baubles on one branch isn’t really ideal. When they do it anyway, just move them when they’re not looking.

9. Skirt around the issue. Pop a tree skirt on to make it ultra fancy or grab some material if you don’t have one. That nice skirt that doesn’t fit you anymore that is still shoved at the back of the wardrobe will work well.

10. Top it like it’s hot. Angel or star? This year I’ve gone for the BIG W LED star because at night all lit up the star is always missing! This way the whole thing is a-glow. And I’ve got a thing about things being Glowless, ya know.

I went and asked some unsuspecting shoppers at my local BIG W what had to be on their tree this year:

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