Spendahoozens

I have my Spendahoozens on. I've been wearing them a lot lately. What are Spendahoozens? Well, I'm glad you asked (although you didn't really because there is a giant image up there, but I'll explain anyway):

In my family, whenever we go on a bit of a spending spree, we say we're wearing our Spendahoozens. You pop down the shops for milk and end up with a shirt, a kettle, a toy car and some weird decorative owl thing because it was gorgeous and 10% off. Shit you don't really need but get anyway. Or sometimes it is stuff you need, but those Spendahoozens aren't as fun.

My Spendahoozens have been on almost 24/7 lately. Fabulously they don't need washing since they're imaginary. Also, they make my ass look great.

I've bought a new (to me) pram (which was actually the wrong pram so now I've gone and bought another one and am selling the original), a nappy bag that I've lusted after for years, an outdoor setting, some play food for the kids, you name it. I don't actually have an income, so this is stuff that I really can't afford to be just buying because PRETTY! And yet here I am. Spendahoozens.

The wearing of Spendahoozens was precipitated by a sudden onset of Affluenza. I've never really had lots of lovely things in a lovely house that feels like mine *cue violins* so now that I do have this gorgeous house with beautiful floors that beg to be rolled on in the nikky naaa, I want the things in it to be faaaaabulous. Affluenza is serious. It kills. OK so maybe not, but still, how much of a wanker am I now? I get a new floor and all of a sudden I want a new lounge suite and dining table to go on it. I annoy myself. People are starving in the world and I'm buying shit I don't need.

I've always been the bargain girl. My clothes are from suburban department stores, not boutiques. My kids dress almost exclusively in hand me downs and I buy toys off Gumtree. I'm a regular at the Op Shops and I wait for sales for everything. We buy food in bulk and meal plan to prevent waste and therefore save money. But, a shiny new bag I'll just buy right now because SHINY NEW BAG!!!

This recent phenomena has come as a shock to many, not least of which, my wallet. My new pink  wallet. As it takes a battering I'm left wondering why I have this sudden urge to spend all the money I (don't) have. Now there's probably a tad of anxiety behind it, but I really think that the Spendahoozens are out in force because compared to dropping $100K+ on an extension and renovation, a $350 second hand pram seems pretty reasonable, really. And that $50 wooden play food set? Chump change.

I need to curb this spending ASAP. Is there an Affluenza vaccine? A trip to Africa perhaps? Help me stop!!!

Do you have Spendahoozens?